Most people know how important it is for kids to make art. They go out of their way to set up finger painting, make sure the crayons are always within reach, and may even plan an art project or two. And once the project is done, they hang up colorful masterpieces on the refrigerator or maybe on a designated wall.
Then they move on to the next thing, leaving so much on the table as they walk away.
Because it’s in the aftermath of the art project where so much of the artistic development happens. Talking about the art strengthens a child’s artistic lens, critical thinking skills, self-awareness, planning, and ability to communicate their thought processes.
So how do you do it? Or more precisely… how do you do it well?
When I first started teaching art, I stumbled through many shallow conversations with kids about their art. Eventually, I got better. I figured out a thing or two, and these hard won lessons can be summed up in this list of dos and don’ts
Do start young, and continue when they are older
It may seem crazy to have a discussion about art with someone who can’t yet verbalize their thoughts, but I believe, the earlier you start modeling the process and the vocabulary, the more naturally it will come later.
Rémy and I just finished our very first collaborative art project. After all the painting and drawing was done, we sat down to scan our artwork. This was basically me talking through and gesturing about all of the things that I saw. To see what I’m talking about, check out our project video:
On the flip side, don’t abandon the practice of talking about their art when your child becomes a teenager. Sure, they may act like they are beyond it, but I assure you they are not. They want you to look, and they want to explain themselves. Make sure you give them that opportunity.
Do wait until they are completely finished to start talking
Picture this… Picasso sits at his easel, working on a small section of Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. As he works he is figuring out what his next moves will be. He’s almost grasped onto the next big idea, when at that moment; his mom comes up and asks him about his composition. Idea gone.
Creating art is the upmost in deep thinking. Breaking concentration just flat out sucks. And the sad part is we do it to kids all the time. So many parents and teachers squat down while the child is making art and strike up a conversation about a piece of art that is unfinished.
Unless you are teaching a part of a technique, or are using the art making to highlight part of the artistic process, then it’s best to just sit back and let your child create undisturbed.
Do avoid generalities
The blanket response to any child’s art – oh, that’s beautiful.
Beauty is simultaneously a deep philosophical term, and completely meaningless. So I recommend that beautiful be stricken from your vocabulary until you’re ready to dive into a discussion on aesthetics.
The big problem is that, like “good job” or “awesome,” children become immune to the word beautiful after a while. They think, “Hmmm, they said that the last picture I drew, and the one before that too.”
I rarely tell a child their work is beautiful, and if I do, they can take that compliment to the bank. I also make sure to explain why the particular piece struck a chord.
Don’t guess at their intentions
One of my favorite parts of The Little Prince is the section about the drawing of the elephant inside the boa constrictor. If you haven’t read it, here’s the excerpt. This is exactly what it is like to be a child artist – you work hard on expressing an idea, and it is so often misunderstood.
What can we learn from The Little Prince? Sooo many things. But here it would be that playing the what-did-you-draw guessing game is not a good idea. There are no winners in this game.
Odds are, you will be wrong at least part of the time. It will be extremely disappointing to your child that you are not in their head and cannot see what they see.
But I would take it a step further and recommend steering clear of guessing at any of the child’s intentions. You don’t know why they used blue, or put that line there. It’s best to let the artists speak for their own art.
Do get curious and ask lots of questions
What if I told you that, hidden in your child’s art, there is almost anything you would want to know about their perspective on themselves, other people, interests, fears, dreams, and the world at large? Incredible right?
So get a little curious and don’t move past their art so quickly. You can have a 15 minute conversation about the picture they drew of a horse. I promise you that you will have learned something during that time.
The key is to ask a lot of questions. You can ask about the visual elements. You can ask about the subject matter. You can ask about their creative process. Any of these areas will lead to a place where your child feels like you take their ideas seriously.
Do more listening than talking
You’re curious, and you’ve come up with a great question to ask - something your child really has to dig to answer. They don’t answer. For a while.
The impulse so many of us have is to jump in and get the conversation going. We’ll start talking, and then they can join us. It almost never works out that way. Usually, you end up doing the lion’s share of talking.
Fight that impulse and sit in the silence. If it feels uncomfortable, then just say, “That’s a deep question I gave you. I’m gonna let you think about it for a bit.”
This can be a extra tough if you’re dealing with a child who is shy about their work, isn’t used to engaging in discussions about their thinking, or is a slow processor. But if you give them time to think and respond, they will come to see that you are truly slowing down to listen.
Do guide the conversation
Not sure where to start? When I talk to children about art, and I have ample time, I almost always follow a similar path. It usually gets me to some interesting places.
I always start with what we see. I ask the child to pretend this is someone else’s work and describe what they see. If we’ve been talking about art for a while, then I expect that the child will hit on the different elements of art. If not, then I pick one element to highlight when I add in my two cents.
I then move on to what they were feeling when they were creating the art. Do they think that their emotions played a role in what they did? In what way can we see it?
Then we go on to the ideas they were trying to convey. Why did they choose the subject? What choices did they make that they feel were intentional and important? Were they inspired by anything they had seen or heard?
Finally, we look forward. I ask the child to consider what they learned from the process, and what they are going to do the same or differently moving forward. This helps them start to plan their next practice and sets the stage for loads of improvement.
Do I always have the time to walk through each of these steps. Nope. But I do try to hit on at least a couple. And for the big deal projects, I try to set aside time devoted to a longer discussion.
Don’t make value judgments
My mom still talks about what a terrible artist she is based off of one drawing of a duck she did back in grade school. So she stopped making art and started helping the teacher clean up during art lessons. This is more common than you think.
There is no moment more vulnerable than when you hand over your art for someone else to look at. If you’ve really worked hard at something and you don’t get a good reaction, it can be soul crushing.
With this in mind, there is no need to comment on how good or bad. I would also steer clear of comparisons with other children’s art. They are already doing that, and they don’t need that urge to be reinforced.
Do jot down what they say
For younger children (those that cannot document their thoughts effectively yet), consider writing down some of their answers to your questions, or any interesting ideas that they come up with during your discussions.
You want to do this for two reasons. 1) It messages to your child that you take their ideas seriously, and 2) It is a great record of where their thinking is at so that you can make better decisions about what types of activities, lessons, research, or projects you want to tackle.
When a child is old enough to write, make them do it. Have them sit down after they create a final work and write an artist statement. These artist statements should be stored with all pieces of art.
Do provide connections
After you’re done listening, you have a brief window to offer up some connections. Maybe your child has been working through a phase where they only want to paint flowers. You can offer to help them research still lifes, or perhaps they might be interested in some botanical drawings.
You’ve seen so much more than they have, so dig into that visual database that sits on top of your neck, and introduce a few things. If you are not confident in your knowledge of art, then sneak in a Google search. Type in “famous paintings of flowers” and you will come away with the likes of Van Gogh, Monet, and O’Keeffe. Plenty to go on.
Go for it
You can do this, so go for it. But also go easy on yourself. Any time you start a new practice, you’re gonna flub it up a bit. That’s great – you’ll learn so much that way. I never would have come to this list if I hadn’t had a lot of art discussions that fizzled.
I also know that this list is not definitive. I’m still learning! So if you have any suggestions, or tips that work for you, please add them to the comments.
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