A large chunk of my time as a curriculum designer has been devoted to developing ways to teach emotional intelligence to adults. I've worked on multiple projects where the end goal was to help students, workers, and soldiers better understand the role emotions play in our lives, and develop the skills necessary to navigate this world of emotions.
Because this world runs on emotions. You may not be aware of them, but they are there working their magic on your every behavior. In adults, it's easy to forget this fact, but in kids it's pretty obvious. Children, especially toddlers and preschoolers, are all emotion.
When I became a parent, I vowed to help my kids navigate this world as much as possible. Some moments I do this pretty darn well. Other moments, it's a struggle. But such is parenting.
One of the best emotional intelligence tools I've come across in my professional travels comes from Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence. The center developed a four quadrant emotions chart that is the gold standard for visualizing the various emotions. The chart has two essential dimensions - pleasantness and energy.
As I move Rémy and Sierra beyond the basic emotions we all learn from board books (happy, sad, mad, calm, etc) then I have to prepare them to think about how pleasant they feel and what their energy level stands at. I decided to start with helping them recognize energy levels.
In doing so, I am looking to not only prepare them for a richer understanding of their emotions, but also address their current needs. High energy moments, whether they be attached to positive or negative feelings, can turn into destructive moments. Low energy moments can also pose challenges for relationships and communication. So helping kids become more aware of their energy will allow them to start to recognize potential problems ahead and take action.
To introduce the concept of emotional levels, I drew a story. The narrative highlighted three distinct energy levels - low, medium, and high. When I completed telling the story, I invited them to draw with me. They got to practice moving along the three levels.
After the story introduction, I've been stopping throughout our days to ask where each of their energy levels are at. I make sure that I catch them at various times - moments of extreme energy, moments of gentle focus, and moments of tiredness. The practice has paid off. They now can tell me what they are experiencing.
Next stop - attaching specific regulating skills to each of the energy levels. But that's a few miles down the road.
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